Couples and Relationship Counselling

What is relationship counselling and how can it help?

What is relationship counselling?

Relationship counselling is for any two people in a relationship, This is includes married couples, civil partners and partners. I work with couples whatever their sexual orientation. I also offer relationship counselling to people in non-romantic relationships for example, parents and their adult children or stepchildren, and siblings.

Relationship counselling aims to explore, identify and resolve issues within the relationship which are causing tension, disagreements and arguments. We explore how factors including current and past events, outside influences and personal histories impact the relationship. Through our work together we aim to improve communication and understanding in order to encourage growth and fulfilment within the relationship and to equip you with tools to resolve future difficulties.

In relationship counselling my core approach is emotionally focused therapy (EFT). EFT aims to do more than changing the way people communicate, to help them negotiate issues; the EFT therapist helps the couple create a more secure emotional bond, more relationship satisfaction, intimacy, trust, and a general sense of feeling secure with their partner. 

Based on the science of emotions and attachment theory, EFT has a high success rate in achieving secure, resilient relationships.

Relationship counselling is not about persuading you to stay together or encouraging you to split up. The aim is to support you to work out what you would like your relationship to look like moving forwards and to work out how to get there.

Couples counselling is not about apportioning blame onto any one individual. Any issues or problems that arise within the relationship belong to the relationship. Couples counselling is about understanding, communication, resolution and growth

What kinds of issues can relationship counselling help with?

Some couples come to me when they are facing a crisis. Others need help to work through long term problems. My aim is to support both of you as you work through your difficulties. I don't take sides.

Common issues I work with include

  • Affairs and betrayals
  • Trust issues
  • Communication difficulties
  • Sex and intimacy
  • Separation and divorce
  • Difficulties involving families, including step families and blended families
  • Challenges such as illness, bereavement and redundancy
  • Life events including becoming parents, children leaving home and retirement
  • Parenting
  • Issues around finances and money
  • Differing values, beliefs and opinions

What if we decide to end the relationship?

Sometimes relationship counselling is about ending a relationship. When this is the case, counselling can help couples to work through any outstanding issues and unresolved feelings. This enables the process of separation and divorce (where applicable) to be conducted in an adult and amicable manner. This is especially important if children are caught up in the separation of their parents.